that is the hardest shit i hope i EVER have to do...
got a phone call thursday aroud 3pm saying my birth-mom was in the ICU in south dakota...i called the hospital and they told me to come out there....so we got on the road by 5pm, drove all night and arrived in Sioux city friday around 3am, checked hubby and kid into the hotel and they went to sleep, i went to the hospital and talked to the nurses... my mom evidently found out 10 years ago that she had cervical cancer, but chose not to have surgery...(idk anyone else ahem who would EVER not have a hysterectomy when they are told they have cancer....called the dr friday...no worries) and so the police found her on the 29th and thats only after noone heard from her for 4 days, basically cause she had no family there or anyone that knew anything, they had to perform cpr and whatever, bought her "back" she had a pulse and crap but she was braindead...they only know they found a giant mass on her cervix that covered her kidneys which caused kidney failure and by the time she got ot the hospital it was already too late, her body was shutting down....
Friday: we just had to turn the machines off...of course we thought that would be it...about 20 minutes later, she was still "breathing" and ughhh it got to be very hard...i cannot even imagine the nurses but they were awesome...anyways finally a little over 8 hours later, she turned to her sister, opened her eyes and that was it...i left the hospital around 11pm when they took her body away....
Sunday: got back to the hotel around 1230am, hubby and kid were sleeping until around 9am and then about 20 mins later...the 3 of us stayed in the pool for about 2 hours, then got out showered and went to the funeral home...then went to my moms apt....then got back to the hotel about 6? pmish....hubby and child went to sleep...i sat there until about 11pm when i woke hubby up and said lets go home...so we packed up and got home around 630am sunday morning.
i cannot breath, i cannot grieve, i dont know which way to turn i understand she has finally found peace in her rough life and i praise god for that, but i am left her broken....i only knew her for 9 years, but she was still the woman who gave me life....and i love her no matter her faults...only god can judge her now...i will forever miss you mom....i love you
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